Monday, March 28, 2011

My Ongoing Battle With the Microwave

So my microwave hates the human race. Mostly it just hates me and decided that I am a good representation of my species. Every time I walk into my kitchen it is sitting there laughing at me because it knows that virtually every college student in the world would starve to death without microwavable meals. It knows how important it is in my life. Oh microwave, I hate you.

At least its a mutual feeling. It would be way worse if I really loved my microwave and wrote it cute little songs on the ukulele and it turned my food into firey bricks of death anyway.

No, we hate each other which is really not fair because I never gave my microwave any reason to hate me. Whatever, its too late for that now...

So yeah, we hate each other and totally fight to the death every other day. MY MICROWAVE WON'T COOK MY FOOD!!!!! I have given up on all things pot-pie. Other things are do-able, it just takes some know-how.
Exanples:
Burritos: Do-able but only if cut up into fourths and rotated every fifteen seconds.

Chef Boyardee: Do-able but only if cooked for four and a half minutes stirring every thirty seconds and letting cool for five more minutes.

Hot Pockets: No hope

See what I have to put up with??!?! The microwave wins most of the 'food cooking' battles, but I win most of the 'physical stregnth' battles. And i totally win all of the 'verbal abuse' battles, but I'm pretty sure while i am screaming degrading comments at my microwave it is secretly throwing heaps of radiation at me...

Maybe I'll throw it off a cliff.

Or just cook everything stovetop.

Nope, definatly the cliff.

X(

2 comments:

  1. I feel ya. My microwave won't heat anything, so I set the time for longer and then it's like "Feel my wrath of heat!" and the food is lava.

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  2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!! Why is your awful life so dang funny?!!

    And You're a good cook without the microwave. Do your roommates have trouble with the microwave too?

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