The World According to Chad

Right now I am being sung to by a buncha gorgeous voices in my living room. My roommate got together a whole group of people just to sing to me. That is an untruth. But sitting in my room trying to write my english midterm I like to pretend that people care enough to assemble entire choirs to entertain me.

Wouldn't that be the greatest? I would be all 'hey instant choir that is only here to serve me, I can't go to sleep, whip out a lullabye for me.' Then they would because really who doesn't love to serve me? Also I am very influential and a great example to everyone so I totally deserve whatever praise/service/lovin/cookies you want to gift wrap and deliver to me when I am feeling blue. That's also an untruth ,but something I like to pretend. I wish my fantasy life was legit.

If my fantasy-ness people would stop me in the streets and be all 'wow you inspire me. I read your blog and cried for joy. Here's a passion fruit smoothie.' Then I would bee all 'oh thank you. come to my poetry reading on thursday at the little cafe being built in my honor.' also I'm pretty sure my teachers would all be like 'chad you do not even haveta worry about homework. You are above that. Here is a certificate of awesome.'

Other things that would happen: Various companies would get me to represent them and be my sponsors. (Think Hershey's, Ghirradeli, Cheesecake Factory, Olive Garden, Taco Bell, Snapple, Jelly Belly, Dairy Queen, and other foods) They would Give me free foods and I would be in their commercials and stuff. Plus I would get on celebrity talk shows. I'm not sure why.

Most Importantly: my microwave would not be evil or hate me or try to kill me daily. And the birds in my apartment would not act like they are possesed. They especially act up when the microwave is on.....coincidence? I think not.