Monday, April 11, 2011

How to Make Everyone Fall in Love with you and get a Kazillion Compliments

If you want everyone to legitly love you and praise you to the roof I've got some Ridiculously good tips that will make you the object of everyone's affection. IT TOTALLY WORKS!! I've pretty much mastered the process and now everybody loves me like crazy.

1. Find a way to perform on stage in front of all your friends. Let them know all about it and beg them to come. They will totally go if they are real friends, even if they think it will be terrible.

2. Be super awkward in real life. That way when you get on stage and can act somewhat less awkward, people will be all 'Whoa! How does he do that?' Cuz Everyone knows that being on a stage will automatically up someones awkward level by twenty percent. Unless you are legit.

3. Sing a song that a lot of people know and like. People will not expect you to live up to their expectations, but you have to perform it almost halfway decent.

4. sing just barely out of key like the whole time. Pretend you can't hear the piano all that well. and Make wierd faces every once in a while to let everyone know that you are suffering along with them and that singing this badly is even more painful than listening to someone sing this badly. This gets you sympathy points.

5. Instead of trying to act competent on stage go totally CRAZY!! Act like someone you would be afriad of in a dark alley. The stage makes stuff like that look cool. Also People will not expect that, especially if you are dressed up fancy-like.

6. You must wear a sparkley tie. This is not optional. It will make your performance 23 times better and you will get more compliments on your tie than on your singing.

7. Your voice must crack on at least 3 high notes (to prove that you are trying really hard) and 1 not high note (This is a real kicker and makes everyone fall in love with your voice).

8. DO NOT take a drink for at least an hour and a half before the performance. Your voice must be raspy and gross sounding.

9. Also don't go to the bathroom any time before you sing. If you look like you have to go potty it'll be cooler.

10. Afterwords people are totally going to compliment you. Just ignore them, or say you did a bad job. Then people will become even more infatuated with you and persist in complimenting you even more.

11. You must blog about it and invite all your facebook friends to read it. Then they will post all kinds of complimental comments.

7 comments:

  1. Bahahaha. I love it. And seriously, its true. The more awkward they are, the more adorable it is.

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  2. Hahaha sounds like I missed something good at the voice recital tonight! :p

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  3. Dear Chad, I loved this! hahaha I was linol the whole time. I guess I probably thought it was so funny because the whole thing describes exactly how I feel on stage! hahaha Well I bet you did awesome, you always do. And you have a nice sparkly tie :)
    LOri

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  4. I wish I could like choirchick's comment. :)

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  5. Chad, it was totally awesome! And if you did make weird faces we (the audience) couldn't tell! And I am pretty sure you made Anika fall in love with you.

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  6. hehehehe. My biggest fear in the world is peeing my pants on stage, during one of my solos. Its never happened but it would be awful if it did.

    Oh and I'm a true friend cuz I came to a concert I know you'd be awful at!

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