Friday, April 29, 2011

When life gives you pears...

I don't really know where I was going with that title. If life gave me a pair of pears they would probably not be friends. In fact they would absolutley hate each other. I would just have to sit back and watch them try to kill each other. Which would be pretty awesome cause if you have ever seen a violent fruit its pretty spectacular. Actually what would probably happen (because I am listening to 'My Love' by Sia which is a sad song) is that one pear would realize he secretly loved the other one and kill himself because she hates him. Then when he was dead and in a friut salad she would be sad because she secretly loved him too and then she would throw herself into the garbage desposal. We don't actualy have a garbage desposal. Or pears. Holy freak I am tired.

I think the guy pear would make an alliance with the stawberries which would make it especially poignant when they are chopped up and put together in a fruit salad. Oh and one of the stawberries was secretly in love with the guy pear, but her husband was very nice and she wanted to be faithful to him because he was begining to grow a mold spot and she wanted his last days to be pleasant. The ironic thing is that for the fruit in the kitchen, any day could be thier last day it just depends on the whims of the people living there. What a precarious situation. It would  cause one to wonder why the pears ever pretended to be mad at each other if they could have been seperated without warning. This is reflective of our society because even though we could all be taken from this life in an instant we still don't always care for each other. I am so smart.

The bananas would be neutral. They sit pretty out of the way anyway. if we had a cantalope of honeydew she would be very wise and be able to tell the other fruits really wise things about what to do. Except here is the kicker: she is eaten a piece at a time and so everytime part of her is cut off she grows weaker and less wise and eventually she starts telling everyone to do crazy stuff like throw themselves into non-existant garbage desposals.

The apples would be double agents and try to help both sides. they would come to blame themselves for the suicidal pears. In the end, however, everyone ends up in one big bowl of fruit salad for someone to eat. The fruits would give people life and nutirents. Would it matter what their life was like if they serve their purpose of being eaten? Do they even know that they are here solely for our consumption? What a tragic fate for the ignorant and pre-destined fruits. This would make an epic movie. Or a really stupid blog post... :/


  1. "I am so smart" That's my favorite.
    This is probably my favorite of your blog posts.

  2. the apples would come to balme themselves for the suicidal pears!!! ack I love it!

  3. For some strange reason, this reminded me of Metamorphisis...probably because you kept comparing the fruit to people. Anyway, it was awesome!! Props to you for turning fruit into a parallel to life:)