Sunday, April 10, 2011

It's a Wonderful Life

So I am having one of those moments where you wonder: what would the world be like without me? Ever since that fabulous movie that everyone decided is all about Christmas and was a step in the over-commercialization of that holiday came out, it's been an interesting topic of inner conversation for many people. Or at least me....

I mean its not like this is something you can really talk to your buddies about. It would be pretty awkward. Not to mention nobody thinks about what the world would be like without other people. just themselves. And mega celebraties. Like Walt Disney, or Dr. Seuss, or Lady Gaga.

So I was hoping that by now some guardian angel would show me what things would be like if I had never been born, but since that is not the case I am going to have to speculate and you are going to have to enjoy it. It'll be enlightening probably. Or super boring. Whatevs.

So here we get to the good part:
Without me life would suck.

Welp that just about covers it.

But since that probably isn't very satisfying I will go into detail:
1. You would not be reading this. Unless somehow I was able to prject my nonexistant self into a coputer and you somehow stubled upon it, but that sounds too much like what would happen in an early twenty-first century movie in which the mysterious blog suddenly begins spouting out information about something to change the course of history like the end of the world or the unexpected bankrupcy of McDonald's.

2. Barak Obama would not be president. He would instead be supreme ruler of the world. I have spent countless hours of service keeping him from allowing the power-hungry-tyrant side of him from gaining control. Your Welcome.

3. American Idol would not even be on the air anymore. I pretty much single-handedly kept that show somewhat popular during the hard times. Also I voted at least a thousand times per season and its all my fault that Carrie Underwood and Jordin Sparks are where they are now.

4. Umm I don't know. You would probably have to have a psychiatrist or something because you would feel this horrible void in your life and you wouldn't be able to figure out whats missing. And quite possibly I am the only thing that is keeping you sane. Probably.

So yup. Pretty grim picture of life without me. Oh and did I mention the angry and purposeless mob that would roam the streets and commit random acts of violence? There would be one of those too. 

1 comment:

  1. You make me smile! :) I'm glad you are around. You make life much better.

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